Mananananananana BATMAN!

Yes, its true. Today is SUPERHERO DAY! haha, man do I love this school. Of course, everyone who actually dresses up is a complete loser but hey, its what I do. :p Ha, I'm Batman today, if you couldn't tell. Everyone dressed up as Batman.... Not Cool guys. Monday was Sports Day, Tuesday was Hippie Day [lame] today is Superhero Day, Tomorrow is 80's Day [:D!] and Friday is SPIRIT DAY! Its upsetting though how no one dresses up for spirit week anymore. :[
Anyways, I'm in Civil Engineering right now, and theres a sub. Mmmmhm, I spent 2 1/2 hours last night finishing up my project, and HE'S NOT HERE. Urg! So the sub was like, "finish your project if you haven't already." And I'm like "Are you kidding me?!" I spend an hour and a half on the bus to Bath yesterday, watched JV lose, then we lost [wt?! its BATH] and then spent an hour and a half on the way home istening to heavy metal and screamo. Oh, and we listened to Coach tell us over and over about how "he'd never see the day when we lost to bath, how we've punished ourselves enough, and the embarrassment we'll face tomorrow telling everyone we lost to Bath. Not. Cool.
So, today is a day for me to be all "woo!" and therefore:
OMG YAY! I developed my film today! I did so well, granted I took 15 minutes in the dark dark room, and then I cut off maggie's butt in the last photo, but it was fun! I was dancing the whole time i was adding fixer, stop and developer. :) haha, man I love my life. I ran down the hall this morning singing "Mananananananananananana BATMAN!!!" and people just stared. All my friends are like "omg I love you." Haha, yeahh, I'm cool.
Well, I have nothing to do right now, sooo yup. That's my story for today.

Speech & Debate

We have to write a Eulogy. Ironic, he gives us the assignment the week of the 1 year anniversary of Uncle Jim's death. I've decided I want to speak about Uncle Jim, that way everybody can know a little bit about him, and think "Hey, she had a pretty cool uncle."
I miss him. That day I didn't cry. Mom cried, Mimi and Papa cried, Aunt Kate cried, and I'm sure many others cried as well, but not me. I got to watch a kitten whose front paws don't work, roll around & push himself across the floor to play with his owner. I played in the big HF-L vs Livonia game, and we lost 3-1. I came home and watched my mom tear up then breakdown. I still didn't cry. I still feel like I have to be the one who doesn't cry, the one that has to be strong for everyone else. I don't like being sad, I really don't. I wanted to cry, I wanted to just sit against my locker on the floor and just bawl my eyes out. I teared up a little when Kevin asked me what was wrong then just hugged me till I felt better.

I don't want to be sad, but I am.
I want to make everything better, but I can't.
I want to go back in time and somehow find a way to fix what was broken, and I know thats impossible.
I want him here, I wish it had never happend to us.
But thats not how it works, we have to live with it everyday, and hope that it'll get better as time goes on.
I guess I'll have to be a bit more patient, because it still hurts to much to think, to wonder "if."

I love you Uncle Jim, and I miss you every day.
Theres not a day that goes by where I don't grab the heart around my neck and wish you were still here.
"Where'd all the good people go?"

:[

So I guess I had a bad dream yesterday night. I was staying up late because I wanted to watch the WWE shows we've recorded before Sean deleted them. So, I'm staying up as late as I can and I fall asleep. Now, this is the part where I have my bad dream; well, my mom says it was a bad one so I'll take her word for it. Here's my dream:

I was sitting at the end of the kitchen table at Mimi's house where my dad sits every Sunday. Then to my left, where Mimi normally sits is Uncle Jim, and next to him is Aunt Kate. Were all talking and laughing, then I guess I'm eating something so there I am talking and sitting with whatever I'm eating. Then Uncle Jim asks for a piece of whatever I'm eating so I rip off a piece of my food and give it to him. Now I notice Aunt Kate's looking at me weird and then she starts to cry, so I give her the "What are you giving me that look for?" look, and I look back to where Uncle Jim is supposed to be, and he's not there anymore. Then I start crying along with Aunt Kate. Then I wake up and I'm bawling my eyes out at like, 3 in the morning.
Not the most pleasant dream I've had, but I didn't think it was bad. That's like, the first dream I've had with him in it since he passed away.
:[
Next Wednesday is the 1 year "anniversary" of his passing away. [Already?!] I have to play Livonia; HF-L's main rivals that same day. Not fun. This week has not started out great for me.



Oh, won't this be fun.

Vs. Byron- Bergen

It did not go too well in the "winning" department. However, we played phenomenally and I was able to start and play in each of the three games. [I went back row for Camaryn when she was done in the front row] I also had an AMAZING kill; I was like "WOAH! Where did that come from?!?!" I was practically shaking. Coach is proud of me for doing what he asked and playing well. Hopefully I'll do well in practice so I'm able to (partially) start again. :] It was a lot of fun.

Tonight I'm missing Unforgiven. Its sad that I'm a junior in high school and I loooove WWE. I was so upset when I found out I couldn't go. Sean is still there, and I'm here. WOO stinkin HOO. It'll be one of my goals from now on to go to a WWE match whether its Friday Night Smackdown or Monday Night RAW or a combinatioln of all three: Smackdown, RAW or TNA. Yep, I will go to a show if my life depends on it. Which it does.

So I'm off to buy some more music, shower, then go to bed. Because Kirsten is sleeeeeepppyyyyy. [yawn] See? Haha, G'night. :D